I love wine and it’s as simple as that.
I feel like I can leave that there and this post is finished. But I guess I’ll talk a little more.
My mom will kill me if I say that most of my happy memories include her with a glass of wine in hand, but it’s true. My mother is an amazing woman who understands that wine goes well with a good time. She can also barely handle more than one glass but she tries. Love you, mom.
I am personally partial to a good glass of champagne but there are few glasses I will turn down. It’s a great way to unwind after a long day of dealing with whatever idiot you had to deal with. Or celebrate a monumental moment with your friends. Or celebrate a holiday with the one’s you love.
There are some things you need to drink wine like glasses and a wine opener. But there are ways around those. There are some other things that are different, though, things that you need to have if you are a true wino. Things that other people who do not understand wine like we do will say you don’t need. They’re wrong. You need these.
If you have not heard of the Chambong you are missing out. This lovely little guy is designed for the rapid consumption of bubbly. Which is everyone’s favorite way to consume anything obviously, these cute little guys are necessary for any party. I was gonna say bachelorette party or party with your girlfriends but that is too restrictive. I think they should be at all social gatherings. Everybody likes a good Chambong rip.
Plane rides are horribly boring. You are in a tight space, with little leg room, over priced snacks, and too many strangers. So your best bet is obviously to get a drink, and why not make a cocktail, or two, out of it. This handy little kit comes with everything you need. It even has a linen coaster because you boogie and why hide it. So, make yourself a little champagne cocktail, recline that seat the 4 inches they give you and enjoy.
Constantly drinking wine is, unfortunately, frowned upon. And while most of the time I will tell you to screw what other people think. This time they are judging you for your health and safety. So in those times when we can’t have a glass in hand, we have gummy bears. They are non-alcoholic so no one can get mad at you, and they make a great hostess gift. They are funny and cute and CHAMPAGNE FLAVORED!
Nothing says today has been a long day like a bath and a glass of wine. The only problem is it’s not always easy to find a safe place to put that glass. No fear, all of our problems have been solved. The SipCaddy is here to make your life better. It’s a suction cup wine glass holder. Bless. Now you can have great baths and sip away carelessly, but there’s a bonus. The SipCaddy can hold all kinds of cups. Now you can have a cup of coffee and shower at the same time. What a time to be alive.
In a world where movie theaters and sports stadiums charge $9 for a cheap glass of wine, we have The Wine Rack. This little beauty holds and an entire bottle of wine. An entire bottle. We no longer have to wait in endless lines for terrible wine. You can pick you favorite, fill and go. It’s so easy. Every activity can be more enjoyable and convenient. You can play games and not have to hold a cup. When you want a sip just whip out the nozzle and enjoy.
There really isn’t anything to whine about if you have all these things. I had to. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I love wine. We are living in a time where you don’t just have to drink out of a glass or in a stationary position. As long as you are being responsible you can have wine in almost anywhere. Yes, there are still places you shouldn’t drink it (eg. work, schools, playgrounds) but that’s fine because we can snack on it. I hope I helped you in your future consumption and enjoyment.
May your wine glass ever be full.